When I was a young girl I discovered my Grandmother was a witch. Not a witch in the sense of being crabby or rude, but a witch in the sense of intuition and all things dark and scary. I was digging around in her attic on a hot summer day, this was around the age of 12 or so... too old to believe that witches existed and too young to believe they didnt. On this day many many years ago, I found an old Ouiji board. It was dusty and old and immediately I was drawn to it, it really knowing what it was. I brought it downstairs and placed it on the table in front of my Grandmother. She looked at it and there appeared on her face an expression I had never seen before. She looked a little evil. She was a normal Grandma, one with thick glasses and gray hair and shewore all that polyester shit you know that neon stuff that looked like it would go up in flames if you threw a lit match her way. Until that moment I have always seen her as someone with a kind heart, lots of wisdom and advice and she made the best damn pound cake you ever tasted(she loaded it up with rum god it was tasty)but at this moment she looked different, dark scary and a little devilish.
She said "That's what I use to talk to all of our dead relatives." Holy shit I thought this woman is insane... here I am all alone with her in the house and this is a house out on a lake in the middle of the forest in Minnesota.. I didnt know a soul around and Grandpa was out on the boat fishing gone for hours. This put a whole new spin on things as I was there staying with them far far away from my home in California for Summer vacation. I said meekly "How does it work?" A strange smile came over her face kind of like I had opened the original pandora's box. She stood up and crosed the room and open a cupboard door on this black antique enameled case, reached in and took out a beautiful red satin jeweled case. She slowly opened it up and gently took out an object so foreign and odd. It was a little carved wooden triangle thing with tiny little carved feet on it. It was weird and I was strangely attracted to it. I reached to pick it up and she said "NOOO! dont touch it until it is ready to be touched." OMG this is too much. I sat there and watched her as she closed her eyes and placed both hands over this thing just hovering her hands over it about an inch above. She started humming this weird little tune and I got the feeling that even though her eyes were completely closed, she could still see me.
Shivers running down my spine I got up and left to get some water in the kitchen. When I came back she was sitting back at the table in front of the Ouiji Board (and I was only gone for a second so that woman flew over to the table like time had stood still)this time that thing that didnt want to be touched was right on top of the Ouiji Board resting right in the middle of it.
She looked up and said "Lets sit in a protected circle and talk to your Great Uncle Ernie and my Aunt Sadie." I sat next to her and as she instructed I placed my fingers lightly on the triangle thing just for a moment then drew my hands back on my lap(evidentally she said now it was ready to be touched)She placed her fingers lightly on the other side. She kept her eyes closed and told me to watch the board and say whatever the triangle thing spelled out. She kept her eyes closed and said "Ernie are you there, this is Thelma, please come to me" This thing started to move! I looked at ther and her eyes where closed and her fingertips were bearly touching this thing. It seemed to be moving on its own. I couldnt believe it. It slowly spelled out: H-E-L-L-O-S-I-S-T-E-R-R-O-S-E. I stopped and stood up. She opened her eyes and I said she said who is rose? A tightening in my chest and dizzy feeling crazy that all this was happening.. my dolls at home I called Sister Rose and Brother Thorn. I left them at home and never told her about this. How could she know that? I never told anyone that. She smiled a deep wicked smile and said "Now you will believe" that is all she said. She carefully put away the board and triangle and told me never to mention that again. She then seemed to return to her normal state of Grandmotherness.
It was years later after she died and Grandpa was long gone that we came across several boxes with my name on them. Mostly, they were filled with old painted china, old weathered pictures and a couple of tiffany lamps. I was in my own home now and had inherited all this stuff so I just put it in my attic.
This weekend is my big garage sale. I have to get ready for this whole big college thing so I went up to the attic and grabbed all the old boxes carefully opening and pricing all the old stuff I didnt want. There is one box I dont want to open and I know what is inside. I know it with all of my heart. I put it back up in the attic untouched unopened. I will leave it there ... maybe forever... maybe someday for my Grandaughter (just kidding)...and it still makes me feel like I am twelve. And yes I still believe....
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Pomp and Strange Circumstance
Hello loyal readers!
I am back! Back from the tedious responsibilities of real life duties that have so selfishly taken me away from my one true passion (besides yoga) writing....
In the last several weeks I have been in absentia. My Daughter had finals, then Prom, then actual Graduation ceremony, then the preparation of a party that would rival a wedding reception (not really but it felt like it and was extremely expensive) and then all the other graduation parties that we have had to attend, then finally the 7 hour road trip to the College Orientation, the two days spent there "orientating" and the 7 hour trip back... Whew! it's been a whirlwind.... and I am so glad to be back to the safe quiet uninterupted bliss of my computer...
So what did I do when I finally got into my home office, shut the door, fired up my computer and cracked my knuckles with gleeful anticipation? I felt the beginnings of what is the equivalent of cyptonite to a budding writer... Writer's Block...
Yes, I was blocked for a full week... so on top of all of the time away and the traveling and time to ponder topics of discussion to write about, the notes taken on the road of stories I couldnt wait to pumpout, I sat there staring at the screen the gentle hummmm of the hard drive humming at me as it is was actually saying.. "What the Hell!!!"
I realized at that moment, I left my writing "mojo" back on the University of Kansas Campsus somewhere between the Dorm Rooms, the Sorority Houses, The Union Hall and the Financial Center (the place where you would find most of the parents). The wind has been taken out of my sails all for the greater good of higher education for my only Daughter. I realized that my mind is on the Stranger Circumstance of her actually leaving and living this new life, apart from me, without me. My heart is a little fluttery just saying this out loud, fingers to keys... to my supportive friends and fellow bloggers. Let me go on record to say "Letting go sucks" and this empty nest thing is going to be a lot harder than I realized.
I started at the computer screen and had a good long cry. The kind of cry that you cry until there are no more tears. The kind of cry that feels like when you are finally finished you are reborn.
The next thing I did was pump out the most heartfelt little novelette about growing up and letting go and I have to say, in the process of letting go of here in my heart and mind, I found myself, my voice, and my writers "mojo"!
Soin a way, she has graduated and so have I... on to a new life of possibilities and opportunities for the both of us... and yes, my dear friends you are asking how old where you Kimmykat to have a child old enough to graduate?? Lets just say, I was way too young but am glad now I have all this freedom to look forward to still at a young age.
So on the list now... and this is for you my dear friend Domestic Minx:
1. Teach Yoga for 8-10 months or longer in Costa Rica
2. Open my own Yoga Studio on the beach
3. Get my book finally published
4. Travel and explore
and all this could not be done with a schoolage child at home. So the lesson of all of this is to look at the positive and see really see all that life has to offer rather than concentrate on what you have to let go of.
Namaste....
I am back! Back from the tedious responsibilities of real life duties that have so selfishly taken me away from my one true passion (besides yoga) writing....
In the last several weeks I have been in absentia. My Daughter had finals, then Prom, then actual Graduation ceremony, then the preparation of a party that would rival a wedding reception (not really but it felt like it and was extremely expensive) and then all the other graduation parties that we have had to attend, then finally the 7 hour road trip to the College Orientation, the two days spent there "orientating" and the 7 hour trip back... Whew! it's been a whirlwind.... and I am so glad to be back to the safe quiet uninterupted bliss of my computer...
So what did I do when I finally got into my home office, shut the door, fired up my computer and cracked my knuckles with gleeful anticipation? I felt the beginnings of what is the equivalent of cyptonite to a budding writer... Writer's Block...
Yes, I was blocked for a full week... so on top of all of the time away and the traveling and time to ponder topics of discussion to write about, the notes taken on the road of stories I couldnt wait to pumpout, I sat there staring at the screen the gentle hummmm of the hard drive humming at me as it is was actually saying.. "What the Hell!!!"
I realized at that moment, I left my writing "mojo" back on the University of Kansas Campsus somewhere between the Dorm Rooms, the Sorority Houses, The Union Hall and the Financial Center (the place where you would find most of the parents). The wind has been taken out of my sails all for the greater good of higher education for my only Daughter. I realized that my mind is on the Stranger Circumstance of her actually leaving and living this new life, apart from me, without me. My heart is a little fluttery just saying this out loud, fingers to keys... to my supportive friends and fellow bloggers. Let me go on record to say "Letting go sucks" and this empty nest thing is going to be a lot harder than I realized.
I started at the computer screen and had a good long cry. The kind of cry that you cry until there are no more tears. The kind of cry that feels like when you are finally finished you are reborn.
The next thing I did was pump out the most heartfelt little novelette about growing up and letting go and I have to say, in the process of letting go of here in my heart and mind, I found myself, my voice, and my writers "mojo"!
Soin a way, she has graduated and so have I... on to a new life of possibilities and opportunities for the both of us... and yes, my dear friends you are asking how old where you Kimmykat to have a child old enough to graduate?? Lets just say, I was way too young but am glad now I have all this freedom to look forward to still at a young age.
So on the list now... and this is for you my dear friend Domestic Minx:
1. Teach Yoga for 8-10 months or longer in Costa Rica
2. Open my own Yoga Studio on the beach
3. Get my book finally published
4. Travel and explore
and all this could not be done with a schoolage child at home. So the lesson of all of this is to look at the positive and see really see all that life has to offer rather than concentrate on what you have to let go of.
Namaste....
Thursday, June 7, 2007
A bird's eye view
Last night I had a dream. I am a bird but still cannot figure out what kind of bird. I guess it is all up to interpretation. I quickly jotted down my thoughts in my dream journal and still cannot decide. It has turned into a riddle of my mind and my dreams.
I am a bird in a faraway place. I am feral and regal and proud. I have ancestors that have spanned the ages through the times of dinosaurs, the times of king and queens, the times of dictators and wars, the times of drugs and free love, and have lived through it all and survived. I am prehistoric, I am a part of history. I know this in my mind and thoughts and understand that the world belongs to me because I conquer the skies above it. If there is catastrophe or danger on land I can escape and fly away. I have seen humans and other animals die in volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, fire, tornadoes and hurricanes. I can fly away from it all and for this reason I fear nothing. Nothing except the gun of a hunter. My fear: a loud blast, gunshot sound and I can imagine the feeling of a hot sharp piece of metal shredding my body, the instant pain like a white light and then falling falling until I hit the ground or darkness. I sometimes wish for the first because the next fear would be to survive but wait on the ground until other animals would find me. Then I would become theirs to do what they want to my strong body, my beautiful feathers, all of what God gave to me and made me who I am.
At night in the cold darkness, I can see the forest lit up with small animals. My prey, my food. They fear me as I can swoop down and capture anything that fancies my attention. My eyes dart from side to side and in the deep recess of my mind I can smell a small mouse very very far away. I can smell the fear in that mouse and I know that he belongs to me. I am primative. I am brutal. I am nature pure raw real.
In my life I have always known, my feathers gleam and shine. My beak is razor sharp. My talons are strong and needle pointed. I breathe in deep and feel the cold clear air permeate my lungs , my feathered chest fills to capacity and my wings arch. I am standing perched on a tall mountain high high above a beautiful valley. The sun is just coming up over the horizon and day in its new beginning, a fresh start, an innocence is in the air and it belongs to me. I command the world and I feel like I am the king of the land.
Time seems to stop as I edge up on my talons, my wings span and spread as far as they can reach, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and lean lean into the air over the edge, falling falling then snap, my wings take hold of the thin cool air and the muscles and tendons in them grab hold of gravity, up and down my wings seem to go effortlessly, this is what I am made of. Fluid movement, gliding gliding. My wings stop every now and then and I just float. I am content more than anything at this very moment doing what I am meant to do. I see the world below me the animals the plants the humans and I am free free to fly and glide and breathe and be. This is my world. I am a bird, I am free and I am at one with God at this very moment.
hmmmm, putting my dream to paper didnt really help...still cant figure it out- I could have been an eagle or a sparrow but in the dream it was my eyes looking through a birds eye view. The dream was real and vivid and a bit scary. But seeing the world through something as free as a bird made me add one more thing on my list of things to do before I die: learn to fly a small plane! Wow
I am a bird in a faraway place. I am feral and regal and proud. I have ancestors that have spanned the ages through the times of dinosaurs, the times of king and queens, the times of dictators and wars, the times of drugs and free love, and have lived through it all and survived. I am prehistoric, I am a part of history. I know this in my mind and thoughts and understand that the world belongs to me because I conquer the skies above it. If there is catastrophe or danger on land I can escape and fly away. I have seen humans and other animals die in volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, fire, tornadoes and hurricanes. I can fly away from it all and for this reason I fear nothing. Nothing except the gun of a hunter. My fear: a loud blast, gunshot sound and I can imagine the feeling of a hot sharp piece of metal shredding my body, the instant pain like a white light and then falling falling until I hit the ground or darkness. I sometimes wish for the first because the next fear would be to survive but wait on the ground until other animals would find me. Then I would become theirs to do what they want to my strong body, my beautiful feathers, all of what God gave to me and made me who I am.
At night in the cold darkness, I can see the forest lit up with small animals. My prey, my food. They fear me as I can swoop down and capture anything that fancies my attention. My eyes dart from side to side and in the deep recess of my mind I can smell a small mouse very very far away. I can smell the fear in that mouse and I know that he belongs to me. I am primative. I am brutal. I am nature pure raw real.
In my life I have always known, my feathers gleam and shine. My beak is razor sharp. My talons are strong and needle pointed. I breathe in deep and feel the cold clear air permeate my lungs , my feathered chest fills to capacity and my wings arch. I am standing perched on a tall mountain high high above a beautiful valley. The sun is just coming up over the horizon and day in its new beginning, a fresh start, an innocence is in the air and it belongs to me. I command the world and I feel like I am the king of the land.
Time seems to stop as I edge up on my talons, my wings span and spread as far as they can reach, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and lean lean into the air over the edge, falling falling then snap, my wings take hold of the thin cool air and the muscles and tendons in them grab hold of gravity, up and down my wings seem to go effortlessly, this is what I am made of. Fluid movement, gliding gliding. My wings stop every now and then and I just float. I am content more than anything at this very moment doing what I am meant to do. I see the world below me the animals the plants the humans and I am free free to fly and glide and breathe and be. This is my world. I am a bird, I am free and I am at one with God at this very moment.
hmmmm, putting my dream to paper didnt really help...still cant figure it out- I could have been an eagle or a sparrow but in the dream it was my eyes looking through a birds eye view. The dream was real and vivid and a bit scary. But seeing the world through something as free as a bird made me add one more thing on my list of things to do before I die: learn to fly a small plane! Wow
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
long night at the airport
Recently I had to take a brief business trip, the layover at the airport was time well spent as I wrote a story partly fiction partly truth of what was happening. I still keep in contact with Danny....
One day I thought about the secrets that we all keep. It was a day that I was traveling on one of my many trips. I thought about this sitting for what seemed to be hours and hours waiting for a delayed flight in Cincinnatti. The airport was packed and it was evident that most everyone that was milling around the terminal was stressed and tense and just wanted to be home where ever that might be.I felt the same way but after traveling for the last two days on a very quick, hectic business trip, I really did not want to be alone and wanted someone to talk to. I was sitting in the middle of a mass, more like a swarm of people and felt invisible. A man smiled at me and resumed reading his newspaper. A younger businessman with dark serious eyes and a massive mane of hair looked my way and our eyes locked. It was strange the connection, the attraction, the instant magnetism. He did not look away, neither did I. It became unnerving and a bit uncomfortable. I finally broke the connection and looked in the direction of a fussy child on the bench a few rows away from me. It was a believable diversion, one that he would not have thought he had won our staring contest. Better to let him think I was his equal, his match.
I could feel him looking in my direction still and my face felt flushed. There was excitement in my body and a quickening in my breath. I smiled a devilish little smile in the direction of the fussy child but in actuality was smiling the smile of a woman wanted, a woman lost in wanton thoughts. Suddenly the wait at the airport became bearable. Time seemed to stand still and in my mind, I was with this dark stranger. In my mind he only thought of me, of my wants, of my needs.
His name was Lucas and he was a traveler from a faraway land, a prince in his native country, a man that was taught to hold a woman in the highest regard. He was skilled in archery, martial arts and rode a horse like he had done so all of his life. Lucas was a man who would dress up in his finest clothes and take a woman out to an opera halfway across the country arriving in style, dinner on a concorde jet, champagne in the private opera box, no expense spared to make his lady feel like she was the only woman in the world to him. On the way home in the plane looking out over the quiet sleepy land below, twinkling lights of homes filled with love and hope, he touches her hand and smiles and he touches her heart in a very deep place. I am that lady and I smile back knowing that there will be many more dark plane rides to faraway places with this wonderful dark handsome man.
I look up and he is still looking at me this time smiling a little and if I am not mistaken a little wink or slight twinkle in his eye. The child fusses again (thank god) and I look in that direction.
His name is Danny and he is a construction worker in California working on houses during the day, surfing the best waves at night. He is simple and quiet and happy to just be , he does not judge and does not want to be judged. He is a hard working man, one who hardly ever travels but on this ocassion, is coming back from a trip to see his mother. He is lonely and wants to find a girl who just gets him. A girl that is happy to sit with him on the beach on a grand evening and watch the sun set while enjoying a couple of ice cold Coronas. His idea of a great evening is a barefoot BBQ on his patio with some steel drum music in the background or maybe a little Bob Marley and a quiet dance with his lady until they fall asleep under the stars. No pretention, no illusion, just truth and trust. He is a keeper and he is mine, body and soul. Wonderful strong Danny, I would not want for more and he is completely happy with me and our life together.
I feel his eyes on me again and I look up this time red faced and aware that he knows he has conquered my attention and a little bit of my heart. I smile and regally, gracefully and oh so slowly raise my chin and look in the other direction. He understands the attraction but knows I am no pushover.
His name is Jack, a man dedicated to doing only good for others. He is a decorated firefighter in a New York Borough and a hero in many ways. He has saved many lives and for this he has taken too many chances. With each fire, he feels like he is completing his last mission, his luck has run out and this time he is going to eat it. The adrenaline is too much for him though and he cannot stop. For this reason, he cannot pull himself away, when he hears the sirens in another part of town he simply is pulled towards it like the proverbial moth to the flame. What girl would not be attracted to the hero in him, the large sinnewy muscles, the hard body underneath his firefighting gear. The little boy look on his face when he is on his way to a fire and the bravery involved with his heroics is something so attractive to a woman. Sadly, he cannot find a girl that will be with him through the long haul, they are too afraid of losing him so rather than face his fate with him, they seal it for him by leaving him. He is sad and lonely and the only the fires that he can control and quench give him the satisfaction like that of conquering a firey wild woman. I am that wild woman and he takes hours and hours to control my fire with his raw tender passion.
They call my plane to board and I look up and see my mystery man is no longer there. I am crushed but a little relieved. My thoughts of him have consumed me and now they will just be a memory, a wonderful fantasy like that of a one night stand, the kind of naughty memories that years later will still make you blush. I realize that in thinking about who this mystery man was, I have summoned all the the men that make up the man I dream of, Lucas, Danny, Jack together all have special places in my heart and I know that someday a man who is strong and adventurous, simple and good, brave and true will find me and I will have found the other piece to the puzzle that I have been missing all of my life. I sigh and I get up to walk down the ramp to the plane's entrance. I say hello to the flight attendant and find my seat next to the window and settle in. I have my laptop on the seat next to me and am buckling my seat belt when I hear a soft yet strong and very masculine voice say, "is that seat taken?" I look up knowing it is my dark stranger and he smiles at me with a knowing look like I am the missing piece to his puzzle. I smile, pick up my laptop and say, "this seat is yours."
One day I thought about the secrets that we all keep. It was a day that I was traveling on one of my many trips. I thought about this sitting for what seemed to be hours and hours waiting for a delayed flight in Cincinnatti. The airport was packed and it was evident that most everyone that was milling around the terminal was stressed and tense and just wanted to be home where ever that might be.I felt the same way but after traveling for the last two days on a very quick, hectic business trip, I really did not want to be alone and wanted someone to talk to. I was sitting in the middle of a mass, more like a swarm of people and felt invisible. A man smiled at me and resumed reading his newspaper. A younger businessman with dark serious eyes and a massive mane of hair looked my way and our eyes locked. It was strange the connection, the attraction, the instant magnetism. He did not look away, neither did I. It became unnerving and a bit uncomfortable. I finally broke the connection and looked in the direction of a fussy child on the bench a few rows away from me. It was a believable diversion, one that he would not have thought he had won our staring contest. Better to let him think I was his equal, his match.
I could feel him looking in my direction still and my face felt flushed. There was excitement in my body and a quickening in my breath. I smiled a devilish little smile in the direction of the fussy child but in actuality was smiling the smile of a woman wanted, a woman lost in wanton thoughts. Suddenly the wait at the airport became bearable. Time seemed to stand still and in my mind, I was with this dark stranger. In my mind he only thought of me, of my wants, of my needs.
His name was Lucas and he was a traveler from a faraway land, a prince in his native country, a man that was taught to hold a woman in the highest regard. He was skilled in archery, martial arts and rode a horse like he had done so all of his life. Lucas was a man who would dress up in his finest clothes and take a woman out to an opera halfway across the country arriving in style, dinner on a concorde jet, champagne in the private opera box, no expense spared to make his lady feel like she was the only woman in the world to him. On the way home in the plane looking out over the quiet sleepy land below, twinkling lights of homes filled with love and hope, he touches her hand and smiles and he touches her heart in a very deep place. I am that lady and I smile back knowing that there will be many more dark plane rides to faraway places with this wonderful dark handsome man.
I look up and he is still looking at me this time smiling a little and if I am not mistaken a little wink or slight twinkle in his eye. The child fusses again (thank god) and I look in that direction.
His name is Danny and he is a construction worker in California working on houses during the day, surfing the best waves at night. He is simple and quiet and happy to just be , he does not judge and does not want to be judged. He is a hard working man, one who hardly ever travels but on this ocassion, is coming back from a trip to see his mother. He is lonely and wants to find a girl who just gets him. A girl that is happy to sit with him on the beach on a grand evening and watch the sun set while enjoying a couple of ice cold Coronas. His idea of a great evening is a barefoot BBQ on his patio with some steel drum music in the background or maybe a little Bob Marley and a quiet dance with his lady until they fall asleep under the stars. No pretention, no illusion, just truth and trust. He is a keeper and he is mine, body and soul. Wonderful strong Danny, I would not want for more and he is completely happy with me and our life together.
I feel his eyes on me again and I look up this time red faced and aware that he knows he has conquered my attention and a little bit of my heart. I smile and regally, gracefully and oh so slowly raise my chin and look in the other direction. He understands the attraction but knows I am no pushover.
His name is Jack, a man dedicated to doing only good for others. He is a decorated firefighter in a New York Borough and a hero in many ways. He has saved many lives and for this he has taken too many chances. With each fire, he feels like he is completing his last mission, his luck has run out and this time he is going to eat it. The adrenaline is too much for him though and he cannot stop. For this reason, he cannot pull himself away, when he hears the sirens in another part of town he simply is pulled towards it like the proverbial moth to the flame. What girl would not be attracted to the hero in him, the large sinnewy muscles, the hard body underneath his firefighting gear. The little boy look on his face when he is on his way to a fire and the bravery involved with his heroics is something so attractive to a woman. Sadly, he cannot find a girl that will be with him through the long haul, they are too afraid of losing him so rather than face his fate with him, they seal it for him by leaving him. He is sad and lonely and the only the fires that he can control and quench give him the satisfaction like that of conquering a firey wild woman. I am that wild woman and he takes hours and hours to control my fire with his raw tender passion.
They call my plane to board and I look up and see my mystery man is no longer there. I am crushed but a little relieved. My thoughts of him have consumed me and now they will just be a memory, a wonderful fantasy like that of a one night stand, the kind of naughty memories that years later will still make you blush. I realize that in thinking about who this mystery man was, I have summoned all the the men that make up the man I dream of, Lucas, Danny, Jack together all have special places in my heart and I know that someday a man who is strong and adventurous, simple and good, brave and true will find me and I will have found the other piece to the puzzle that I have been missing all of my life. I sigh and I get up to walk down the ramp to the plane's entrance. I say hello to the flight attendant and find my seat next to the window and settle in. I have my laptop on the seat next to me and am buckling my seat belt when I hear a soft yet strong and very masculine voice say, "is that seat taken?" I look up knowing it is my dark stranger and he smiles at me with a knowing look like I am the missing piece to his puzzle. I smile, pick up my laptop and say, "this seat is yours."
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Deja Vu and other scary shit
Ever since I was young I have always had a strange sense of deja vu. The feeling of being someplace before, experiencing something before or knowing what was going to happen before it actually does. A connection with the great beyond if you will. It seems witchy and scary sometimes but I believe that some people have a more heightened awareness of intuition than others. I have always been one of them. Maybe it is that Cancerian moon goddess trait where we seem so in tune with the moon and the ocean, the tide and the weather. Whatever it is sometimes it scares the shit out of me.
Now I am not as strange as the kid from The Shining... he actually believed he could listen to and talk to some little boy named Tony that lived in his mouth. This mouth dweller told him things like "stay away from the hacked up kids that used to live at the Overlook Hotel" or "Your Dad is going crazy with that Ax and your Mom will end up aimlessly wandering around the scarier sections of the Hotel acting useless while you are running for your life in the frozen maze" or "watchout for that river of blood". Now really this was possibly useful information to Danny, but how many of us really listen to the strange inhabitants of our mouths? Danny listened but never really did much about it all, in fact, he could have really warned that poor old cook Dick Halloran that he was going to end up with the business end of that ax in his chest.
I think animals have alot of intiution too. I sometimes come home after a long hard day,the kind of day that just sucks the life out of you or perhaps you have have a run in with someone especially evil... I come home and just seeing Isabelle sitting there by the door waiting for me or Gucci nosing me and then snuggling me when on most days these cats are aloof and on living in their solitary cat world. On those more emotionally charged days, my cats seem to sense that and are there for me to cuddle and kiss. Cats are intuitive creatures and know alot more than we think. I am not sure of the whole dog thing and perhaps if you have a dog and feel the same way you can respond with a post.
I remember once in high school there was this girl that was a typical Mean Girl. She was a cheerleader and dated only the top football guys and she had all the nicest clothes and she acted like she owned the entire school --- she was mean to those who were not as pretty or popular and she had alot of bad karma coming to her. She was walking down the stairs in front of me and for a brief moment I thought it would be karmic justice and kind of funny if she tumbled down those stairs and her skirt went over her head and everyone saw her bits and pieces. Well, in a split second that happened exactly as I described. I thought I made it happen and then felt a bit like Carrie burning down the school gym after the bucket of blood was dropped on her and her prom date.. the whole telekinesis thing... I have never forgotten that weird feeling of thinking I made that happen.
Maybe we have more power than we think in our thoughts and our minds. I have been very careful in my thoughts of a certain sailor however he should remain very afraid.....afterall we have no control over what we dream! Recently I remember dreaming about a boat sinking......
Now I am not as strange as the kid from The Shining... he actually believed he could listen to and talk to some little boy named Tony that lived in his mouth. This mouth dweller told him things like "stay away from the hacked up kids that used to live at the Overlook Hotel" or "Your Dad is going crazy with that Ax and your Mom will end up aimlessly wandering around the scarier sections of the Hotel acting useless while you are running for your life in the frozen maze" or "watchout for that river of blood". Now really this was possibly useful information to Danny, but how many of us really listen to the strange inhabitants of our mouths? Danny listened but never really did much about it all, in fact, he could have really warned that poor old cook Dick Halloran that he was going to end up with the business end of that ax in his chest.
Oprah calls it listening to your inner voice. She from time to time has this show on dedicated to scaring the living crap out of you... usually about someone horrible ready to attack you or abduct you in broad daylight. She will usually have a few emotionally scarred people on the show telling the gory details of how someone tried to take them from their normal surroundings and have their way with them, hurt them or kill them. The stories are over the top and always have the life lesson "Listen to your inner voice".
I think animals have alot of intiution too. I sometimes come home after a long hard day,the kind of day that just sucks the life out of you or perhaps you have have a run in with someone especially evil... I come home and just seeing Isabelle sitting there by the door waiting for me or Gucci nosing me and then snuggling me when on most days these cats are aloof and on living in their solitary cat world. On those more emotionally charged days, my cats seem to sense that and are there for me to cuddle and kiss. Cats are intuitive creatures and know alot more than we think. I am not sure of the whole dog thing and perhaps if you have a dog and feel the same way you can respond with a post.
I remember once in high school there was this girl that was a typical Mean Girl. She was a cheerleader and dated only the top football guys and she had all the nicest clothes and she acted like she owned the entire school --- she was mean to those who were not as pretty or popular and she had alot of bad karma coming to her. She was walking down the stairs in front of me and for a brief moment I thought it would be karmic justice and kind of funny if she tumbled down those stairs and her skirt went over her head and everyone saw her bits and pieces. Well, in a split second that happened exactly as I described. I thought I made it happen and then felt a bit like Carrie burning down the school gym after the bucket of blood was dropped on her and her prom date.. the whole telekinesis thing... I have never forgotten that weird feeling of thinking I made that happen.
Maybe we have more power than we think in our thoughts and our minds. I have been very careful in my thoughts of a certain sailor however he should remain very afraid.....afterall we have no control over what we dream! Recently I remember dreaming about a boat sinking......
Sunday, May 27, 2007
blame throwers and other dangerous weapons
Non Blame Takers....Ever since I could remember I have been either dating or involved with a non blame taker. Who is that exactly? Well, it is someone that does not have enough seeds to take the blame when they should. When they are the cause of a problem or a situation and even after making a big deal out of it they try to blame someone else. To me the biggest turn off that a guy can have is being unable to admit when he is wrong. It is a big deal with me. I think it shows real masculinity when a guy has enough balls to admit when he has made a mistake. It shows a humbleness that I find sexy and appealing. I would rather be with a guy that makes alot of mistakes and is never afraid to admit to them than a guy who just makes a few but pushes the blame on to you.
Cheaters... I dont even need to go further with this. There is a whole group of men and women out there walking around this earth with the idea that it is not only ok to cheat on your spouse but it is also ok to lie about whether or not you are married at all to the person you intend to cheat with. I have come into contact with two men like this. Now dont get me wrong I bet there are plenty of women out there that cheat and lie but I have no experience with this so I only speak of what I know. The two men, strike that, married cheaters came into my life telling me they were divorced, no relationship. After months of lies, the truth is revealed... cheater number one: in a 7 year relationship about to be married! Cheater number two married and still living with his wife! WTF! I dont know how these men can live with themselves. I mean really do they have not one shred of conscience or a heart that feels or hurts? Instead they go around the face of this earth hurting innocent women with their selfish behavior. So far both cheaters have had strange similarities:
1. Both are Police Officers
2. Both are Capricorns (January 2 and January 7 birthdates although years apart)
3. Both are shameless narcissists.
4. Both were overweight, doughy men with an unfortunate lack of male enhancement. (though both were very particular about the slim trim body type of the women in their lives- double standard)
5. Both live in California.
I dont know how these men found me and the similarities are frightening. I suggest if you meet a non confident egotistical middleaged cop on the west coast that cares only about material gains and climbing his way to the top, completely focused on big boobs and tiny tummies... run in the other direction and hide.
.. Especially if their names are Chris and Ron! They both are non blame takers and cheaters, liars and horrible men. I hope that just getting this out there sets the cosmic karma into motion.
Cheaters... I dont even need to go further with this. There is a whole group of men and women out there walking around this earth with the idea that it is not only ok to cheat on your spouse but it is also ok to lie about whether or not you are married at all to the person you intend to cheat with. I have come into contact with two men like this. Now dont get me wrong I bet there are plenty of women out there that cheat and lie but I have no experience with this so I only speak of what I know. The two men, strike that, married cheaters came into my life telling me they were divorced, no relationship. After months of lies, the truth is revealed... cheater number one: in a 7 year relationship about to be married! Cheater number two married and still living with his wife! WTF! I dont know how these men can live with themselves. I mean really do they have not one shred of conscience or a heart that feels or hurts? Instead they go around the face of this earth hurting innocent women with their selfish behavior. So far both cheaters have had strange similarities:
1. Both are Police Officers
2. Both are Capricorns (January 2 and January 7 birthdates although years apart)
3. Both are shameless narcissists.
4. Both were overweight, doughy men with an unfortunate lack of male enhancement. (though both were very particular about the slim trim body type of the women in their lives- double standard)
5. Both live in California.
I dont know how these men found me and the similarities are frightening. I suggest if you meet a non confident egotistical middleaged cop on the west coast that cares only about material gains and climbing his way to the top, completely focused on big boobs and tiny tummies... run in the other direction and hide.
.. Especially if their names are Chris and Ron! They both are non blame takers and cheaters, liars and horrible men. I hope that just getting this out there sets the cosmic karma into motion.
Getting them off my chest and out of my life helps. I feel better - thank you for listening... OM be well
kk
Saturday, May 26, 2007
ode to a broken laptop
as of late
i have been absent
from the world of blogs and post
you may ask why dear kimmy kat
when the scratchings were interesting, well most
i have been absent
without the means
to scratch and purr and roar
my oldest friend, my companion, my laptop
decided to work no more.
A squad of geeks informed me
twas the motherboard they chimed
we recommend you let go of your friend
and find a new one thats primed
the selection was great
salesmen aggressive until I found one that fit
my personality and function and detail
details only appreciated by a delicious exotic minx
it is pink and expensive and oooooh so girly but worth every bit
so i am back dear friends with paws outstretched
in hopes you will forgive my unavailability
and know each moment I thought of my friends
with kind yoga thoughts and humility.
i have been absent
from the world of blogs and post
you may ask why dear kimmy kat
when the scratchings were interesting, well most
i have been absent
without the means
to scratch and purr and roar
my oldest friend, my companion, my laptop
decided to work no more.
A squad of geeks informed me
twas the motherboard they chimed
we recommend you let go of your friend
and find a new one thats primed
the selection was great
salesmen aggressive until I found one that fit
my personality and function and detail
details only appreciated by a delicious exotic minx
it is pink and expensive and oooooh so girly but worth every bit
so i am back dear friends with paws outstretched
in hopes you will forgive my unavailability
and know each moment I thought of my friends
with kind yoga thoughts and humility.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
my guilty pleasure
Everyone has them- guilty pleasures. Something that makes you feel so good and bad at the same time.
I have quite a few of them:
1. Tanning -save the lecture... i am spanish and portugese and french-- my decendants are dark and fabulous...
2. Dark Chocolate, Milk chocolate, White chocolate, any chocolate bury me in chocolate....
3. Patty cake- this is like better than sex cake- you know that recipe that is floating around that always makes women drool just thinking about it-again the whole chocolate thing...
4. Massage- ok this is selfish but I workout every single day and teach at least 3-4 yoga classes a day so I am sore- this is just maintenance...
5. Sex- I dont think I need to explain further (this list is not in priority order obviously)
6. Red Wine- Merlot, Shiraz.... ahhh
7. Hot Hot Bubble Bath- no one in the house, staying in the tub till I am pruny.
8. Old music to bring back memories... you can only identify these as they pop up... for example watching The Departed on DVD and hearing "Comfortably Numb" -ok it was a re-make but it cause me to pause the movie and dig out my Pink Floyd The Wall cd and listening to it the last couple of days has made me smile and made me think about my old boyfriend and yeah it made me smile all day long.... A suggestion: rent Roll Bounce- it has all the great disco music you heard in roller rinks when you were a teenager- its a blast!
9. Workout- yeah that goes without saying- if you have gotten to know me its all about the endorphins.... gotta get my fix every day.
10. Workout- I know I already said that- okay I admit it I watch the show- on Bravo its the best reality show ever and its about working out. I wonder if skylab is hiring... hmmm
11.Flirting- I could devote an entire blog to this subject- maybe someday I will. I dont know where I heard it but someone once said "Flirting is the most fun a girl can have with her clothes on" ...agree.
12. A really good steak- I know I am a dedicated yogi but I also am a cardio girl who lifts weights- I need my protein!
13. clean crisp sheets- preferably after #7, #6, and #5 (in that order)
Well thats my list so far... This is an endless list to keep adding to...
so if you have a list to share, please do! I would love to hear what guilty pleasures we might share or maybe I can steal a few from your list....
be well... namaste... om
kk
I have quite a few of them:
1. Tanning -save the lecture... i am spanish and portugese and french-- my decendants are dark and fabulous...
2. Dark Chocolate, Milk chocolate, White chocolate, any chocolate bury me in chocolate....
3. Patty cake- this is like better than sex cake- you know that recipe that is floating around that always makes women drool just thinking about it-again the whole chocolate thing...
4. Massage- ok this is selfish but I workout every single day and teach at least 3-4 yoga classes a day so I am sore- this is just maintenance...
5. Sex- I dont think I need to explain further (this list is not in priority order obviously)
6. Red Wine- Merlot, Shiraz.... ahhh
7. Hot Hot Bubble Bath- no one in the house, staying in the tub till I am pruny.
8. Old music to bring back memories... you can only identify these as they pop up... for example watching The Departed on DVD and hearing "Comfortably Numb" -ok it was a re-make but it cause me to pause the movie and dig out my Pink Floyd The Wall cd and listening to it the last couple of days has made me smile and made me think about my old boyfriend and yeah it made me smile all day long.... A suggestion: rent Roll Bounce- it has all the great disco music you heard in roller rinks when you were a teenager- its a blast!
9. Workout- yeah that goes without saying- if you have gotten to know me its all about the endorphins.... gotta get my fix every day.
10. Workout- I know I already said that- okay I admit it I watch the show- on Bravo its the best reality show ever and its about working out. I wonder if skylab is hiring... hmmm
11.Flirting- I could devote an entire blog to this subject- maybe someday I will. I dont know where I heard it but someone once said "Flirting is the most fun a girl can have with her clothes on" ...agree.
12. A really good steak- I know I am a dedicated yogi but I also am a cardio girl who lifts weights- I need my protein!
13. clean crisp sheets- preferably after #7, #6, and #5 (in that order)
Well thats my list so far... This is an endless list to keep adding to...
so if you have a list to share, please do! I would love to hear what guilty pleasures we might share or maybe I can steal a few from your list....
be well... namaste... om
kk
Sunday, May 13, 2007
My hands look small
Those of you that have been stricken with a bad cold, flu or scurvy (jk-it sounds so gross- what is that anyway? I remember it has something to do with oranges having too many or not enough) know that in order to bring yourself out of the depths of hell and back into the land of the of the productive, living, healthy population, you must first subject yourself to rest and that means being housebound.
From recent personal experience, I have to tell you that being stuck inside when the world is spinning without you there are stages that you go through:
First day- wow I have the house to myself, I felt a little run down but mostly (they come out at night mostly hee hee) it was my voice raspy and kind of sexy I sounded worse than I felt. I can watch The View, Dr Phil and Oprah without guilt from not multitasking (folding laundry, vaccuuming) while watching this daytime dribble. I sat back and enjoyed the entire day. I lived on hot tea and took a long hot bath, did my nails, pampered myself and pretty much let the house go to hell. My cats, Isabelle and Gucci were loving it having a companion with them as they are usually pretty lonely and I am not sure what they do during the day other than sleep. I thought to myself ok, I gave up a day I should be better tomorrow so I can get caught up on my duties then.
Second day- I felt worse than the first day. My throat was on fire and this strange sexy voice turned into a creepy monster hiss (see previous blog) Sick of the hot tea and very worried that my teeth would start to take on the color of my brown leather purse. Took more Tylenol and went back to bed, making my bedroom like a cave all the shades drawn, covers over my head, hiding from the world as it keeps spinning without me. Woke up sore after no work out for two days(this is getting serious folks- I usually workout every single day- my back feels like it belongs to an 80 year old) so I peel myself out of bed and head straight for the couch turn on the tv and back to Dr Phil however he is starting to look a little like Satan and then Oprah ---I dont even want to go there but she was really scary today. I force myself to get dressed and go to the club run for about 15 minutes on the treadmill and am ready to pass out (this is pathetic- I usually run 6 miles a day minimum) the only saving grace is ghe jacuzzi... ahhh ridiculously hot water bubbling all around me. I have decided to spend the rest of my life there.
Third day- no sleep all night I propped myself up with about 10 pillows so technically I am trying to sleep sitting up. More tv today- I have discovered the WE channel this is Womens Entertainment and O- the Oxygen channel- both run constant non stop watch until you want to poke your own eyes out Danielle Steele movies, one after another after another.... I watched for a few hours until I actually felt my Va-jay-jay begin to take over my entire body. I got so freaked out I went downstairs and found all the kick ass man movies I could get my hands on die hard, alien, godfather... ok I need to get out of this house. I go outside and sit out in the sun, my throat is burning so I have some cold iced tea this time. I fall asleep out in the sun and wake up an hour later sweaty and realizing I just got a quick dose of sun burn... Its a weird feeling to be cut off from others when you are sick. I force myself to go do a yoga practice in my yoga room. It feels good and I begin to feel a little more human.
Fourth day- I am good enough to try to teach a class considering two days previously I have absolutely no voice at all. The class went well, but I have lost my voice again. I head to the local urgent care and wait for about 3 hours for someone to tell me something I already know- I was really sick. I had strep. So you know what that means--- good drugs to soothe and relieve. My kindly doctor prescribed darvocet. Never dallied with that kind before but I have taken vicodin and this seemed pretty similar and I have to tell you it helped me to feel a little more human so I could actaully venture out to shop a little without fear of small children running from the scary sick monster woman. And shopping I did- then I treated myself to a walk around the lake and a smoothie. I even when for a long run later and ran 4 miles without fear of passing out- I am on the mend!
So I am back from the depths of hell (my own home) and back into the land of the living and am glad it kept spinning without me. One thing I learned is that whenever I am sick my hands look small- this is before the drugs...
To health and honoring that everyday- being grateful and happy that I dont have to watch WE everyday! My hands have returned to their normal size (stop laughing please) , my house still looks like hell and I dont care (ie. details)...and I no longer sound like Gollum--my precious......
cheers to your health and thank you domestic minx for thinking of me when your mouth hurts so much- my sister across the pond...much xxxx and happy thoughts-- kk
From recent personal experience, I have to tell you that being stuck inside when the world is spinning without you there are stages that you go through:
First day- wow I have the house to myself, I felt a little run down but mostly (they come out at night mostly hee hee) it was my voice raspy and kind of sexy I sounded worse than I felt. I can watch The View, Dr Phil and Oprah without guilt from not multitasking (folding laundry, vaccuuming) while watching this daytime dribble. I sat back and enjoyed the entire day. I lived on hot tea and took a long hot bath, did my nails, pampered myself and pretty much let the house go to hell. My cats, Isabelle and Gucci were loving it having a companion with them as they are usually pretty lonely and I am not sure what they do during the day other than sleep. I thought to myself ok, I gave up a day I should be better tomorrow so I can get caught up on my duties then.
Second day- I felt worse than the first day. My throat was on fire and this strange sexy voice turned into a creepy monster hiss (see previous blog) Sick of the hot tea and very worried that my teeth would start to take on the color of my brown leather purse. Took more Tylenol and went back to bed, making my bedroom like a cave all the shades drawn, covers over my head, hiding from the world as it keeps spinning without me. Woke up sore after no work out for two days(this is getting serious folks- I usually workout every single day- my back feels like it belongs to an 80 year old) so I peel myself out of bed and head straight for the couch turn on the tv and back to Dr Phil however he is starting to look a little like Satan and then Oprah ---I dont even want to go there but she was really scary today. I force myself to get dressed and go to the club run for about 15 minutes on the treadmill and am ready to pass out (this is pathetic- I usually run 6 miles a day minimum) the only saving grace is ghe jacuzzi... ahhh ridiculously hot water bubbling all around me. I have decided to spend the rest of my life there.
Third day- no sleep all night I propped myself up with about 10 pillows so technically I am trying to sleep sitting up. More tv today- I have discovered the WE channel this is Womens Entertainment and O- the Oxygen channel- both run constant non stop watch until you want to poke your own eyes out Danielle Steele movies, one after another after another.... I watched for a few hours until I actually felt my Va-jay-jay begin to take over my entire body. I got so freaked out I went downstairs and found all the kick ass man movies I could get my hands on die hard, alien, godfather... ok I need to get out of this house. I go outside and sit out in the sun, my throat is burning so I have some cold iced tea this time. I fall asleep out in the sun and wake up an hour later sweaty and realizing I just got a quick dose of sun burn... Its a weird feeling to be cut off from others when you are sick. I force myself to go do a yoga practice in my yoga room. It feels good and I begin to feel a little more human.
Fourth day- I am good enough to try to teach a class considering two days previously I have absolutely no voice at all. The class went well, but I have lost my voice again. I head to the local urgent care and wait for about 3 hours for someone to tell me something I already know- I was really sick. I had strep. So you know what that means--- good drugs to soothe and relieve. My kindly doctor prescribed darvocet. Never dallied with that kind before but I have taken vicodin and this seemed pretty similar and I have to tell you it helped me to feel a little more human so I could actaully venture out to shop a little without fear of small children running from the scary sick monster woman. And shopping I did- then I treated myself to a walk around the lake and a smoothie. I even when for a long run later and ran 4 miles without fear of passing out- I am on the mend!
So I am back from the depths of hell (my own home) and back into the land of the living and am glad it kept spinning without me. One thing I learned is that whenever I am sick my hands look small- this is before the drugs...
To health and honoring that everyday- being grateful and happy that I dont have to watch WE everyday! My hands have returned to their normal size (stop laughing please) , my house still looks like hell and I dont care (ie. details)...and I no longer sound like Gollum--my precious......
cheers to your health and thank you domestic minx for thinking of me when your mouth hurts so much- my sister across the pond...much xxxx and happy thoughts-- kk
Friday, May 11, 2007
the sound of silence
What is a Yoga Instructor's worst nightmare?
You may think a disruptive student, one that huffs and puffs and moans and groans and keeps everyone else in the class from finding their centeredness.
Or maybe someone who laughs loudly and proudly when an innocent puff of methane is emitted rather loudly into the room (yes this does happen and happen often- my partner in crime and fellow blogini -the delicious and delectable domestic minx can attest to this).
Maybe it is simply that your music of crickets and unicorns stops mid practice.
Yes all of these things can destroy an Instructor's dreams of a smooth flawless class but the absolute worst of the worst : Laryngitis!
Yes, I am unable to speak. It started three days ago with a little scratchy throat and the worries of Uh,oh here we go... a cold is coming on. So off to the drugstore to buy loads of cough lozenges, tea, lemons, honey, tissues, diet 7up, chicken noodle soup, and yes saltine crackers... I was ready.. loaded for bear - a beary bad cold (sorry I couldnt resist- it must be the drugs). But the cold never reared it's head in the form of a head cold.
Instead my scratchy throat turned into the sexiest sex voice I have ever owned. I sounded like Demi Moore after a hard night of drinking and chain smoking. Everyone in my presence looked at me in a way that suggested sex as I spoke. My Yoga classes were fluid and soft like butter and I discovered a yoga cd with all french music that went along with my newfound cfm voice. After class, my male students would hang around and flirt and I knew deep down it was the voice but I didnt care, the attention was amazing -and it really did feed my ego....A few of my fellow female instructors actually asked me to rerecord their outgoing voice mail messages with my alluring words... I was hoping he voice was my new found voice my alter ego in my search for true enlightenment.
The next day: nothing.. no voice- just a harsh whisper that sounded like it came from the mouth of Gollum that nasty hellish creature from Lord of the rings--- Imagine my bright shining face all dressed up in my cutest Yoga outfit from Lulemon and I open my mouth all all that comes out is "My Precioussssssssssss".
Thank god for internet and my ability to write... the sound of my silence is deafening!
You may think a disruptive student, one that huffs and puffs and moans and groans and keeps everyone else in the class from finding their centeredness.
Or maybe someone who laughs loudly and proudly when an innocent puff of methane is emitted rather loudly into the room (yes this does happen and happen often- my partner in crime and fellow blogini -the delicious and delectable domestic minx can attest to this).
Maybe it is simply that your music of crickets and unicorns stops mid practice.
Yes all of these things can destroy an Instructor's dreams of a smooth flawless class but the absolute worst of the worst : Laryngitis!
Yes, I am unable to speak. It started three days ago with a little scratchy throat and the worries of Uh,oh here we go... a cold is coming on. So off to the drugstore to buy loads of cough lozenges, tea, lemons, honey, tissues, diet 7up, chicken noodle soup, and yes saltine crackers... I was ready.. loaded for bear - a beary bad cold (sorry I couldnt resist- it must be the drugs). But the cold never reared it's head in the form of a head cold.
Instead my scratchy throat turned into the sexiest sex voice I have ever owned. I sounded like Demi Moore after a hard night of drinking and chain smoking. Everyone in my presence looked at me in a way that suggested sex as I spoke. My Yoga classes were fluid and soft like butter and I discovered a yoga cd with all french music that went along with my newfound cfm voice. After class, my male students would hang around and flirt and I knew deep down it was the voice but I didnt care, the attention was amazing -and it really did feed my ego....A few of my fellow female instructors actually asked me to rerecord their outgoing voice mail messages with my alluring words... I was hoping he voice was my new found voice my alter ego in my search for true enlightenment.
The next day: nothing.. no voice- just a harsh whisper that sounded like it came from the mouth of Gollum that nasty hellish creature from Lord of the rings--- Imagine my bright shining face all dressed up in my cutest Yoga outfit from Lulemon and I open my mouth all all that comes out is "My Precioussssssssssss".
Thank god for internet and my ability to write... the sound of my silence is deafening!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Mostly they come out at night, mostly....
Catchphrases-- inside jokes...
"Mostly they come out at night, mostly...." The infamous words from our damaged and beloved Newt, emotionally scarred orphan found wandering around trying to dodge double jawed aliens. Even Sigourney couldnt save her in the end, we discovered in the third movie that she was destroyed in her pod in deep space because true to her words: "Mostly they come out at night... mostly." This is a sentence that is said over and over in our house and we always giggle and smile- our own private joke... Then there is also "In case you didnt notice we just got our asses kicked, game over man" and "How can they turn off the power, their just animals" (that Bill Paxton has the best lines).
My daughter and I have a strange movie relationship. We see a movie together and find a catch phrase or word that strikes us, tickles our fancies, or just plain knocks our socks off. This makes for some really hilarious text messages or inside jokes.
One that we used and over used for days on end was from the Shining. Yeah I know you are thinking: "Here's Johnny" made famous by Jack Nicholson chopping his way into the bathroom with an enormous shiny axe. No that would be too easy- there is a scene, a rather pathetic one, in which Shelly Duvall is wearing this gastly indian/rodeo looking jacket and it is in baby puke tan..and she tops it off with a little scarf -what the f?(who is her stylist?) she is wandering (all these people do is wander) around this massive hotel and has no idea where scary as hell Danny is, she finds the communication room and radios to the local ranger. This poor unsuspecting ranger in training answers and she, starved for attention because her crazy husband has gone even crazier, babbles on and on and each time they finish a sentence they say "over". It becomes comical. It seriously goes on and on and "over". So for about two weeks after seeing this movie we would constantly say"over" and it was a source of great laughter for us and annoyance for anyone else in the general vicinity.
Some of you probably can relate to the old Terminator movie that has the catchphrase of all catchphrases- "I'll be back" , there are some that have added to that phrase by saying "Next time I wont be so nice" Or in Tommy Boy "Holy Schnikes", or when he calls Richard "Sinner", or "Thats gonna leave a mark". There are alot of them in any Chris Farley Movie.
Guys have their favorites too: "Say Hello to my little Friend" Scarface, "Were gonna need a bigger boat" Jaws, " May the force be with you" Star wars, "Yeah Baby Yeah", Austin Powers, "Yippe-kay-yay Mother F------", Die hard, "What the problem is?" National Security
I have to admit though, my very favorite is "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" Dirty Dancing... (I say this to my daughter when she is sad- it makes her laugh everytime!)
Over...
xo kk over... (hee hee i love that)
"Mostly they come out at night, mostly...." The infamous words from our damaged and beloved Newt, emotionally scarred orphan found wandering around trying to dodge double jawed aliens. Even Sigourney couldnt save her in the end, we discovered in the third movie that she was destroyed in her pod in deep space because true to her words: "Mostly they come out at night... mostly." This is a sentence that is said over and over in our house and we always giggle and smile- our own private joke... Then there is also "In case you didnt notice we just got our asses kicked, game over man" and "How can they turn off the power, their just animals" (that Bill Paxton has the best lines).
My daughter and I have a strange movie relationship. We see a movie together and find a catch phrase or word that strikes us, tickles our fancies, or just plain knocks our socks off. This makes for some really hilarious text messages or inside jokes.
One that we used and over used for days on end was from the Shining. Yeah I know you are thinking: "Here's Johnny" made famous by Jack Nicholson chopping his way into the bathroom with an enormous shiny axe. No that would be too easy- there is a scene, a rather pathetic one, in which Shelly Duvall is wearing this gastly indian/rodeo looking jacket and it is in baby puke tan..and she tops it off with a little scarf -what the f?(who is her stylist?) she is wandering (all these people do is wander) around this massive hotel and has no idea where scary as hell Danny is, she finds the communication room and radios to the local ranger. This poor unsuspecting ranger in training answers and she, starved for attention because her crazy husband has gone even crazier, babbles on and on and each time they finish a sentence they say "over". It becomes comical. It seriously goes on and on and "over". So for about two weeks after seeing this movie we would constantly say"over" and it was a source of great laughter for us and annoyance for anyone else in the general vicinity.
Some of you probably can relate to the old Terminator movie that has the catchphrase of all catchphrases- "I'll be back" , there are some that have added to that phrase by saying "Next time I wont be so nice" Or in Tommy Boy "Holy Schnikes", or when he calls Richard "Sinner", or "Thats gonna leave a mark". There are alot of them in any Chris Farley Movie.
Guys have their favorites too: "Say Hello to my little Friend" Scarface, "Were gonna need a bigger boat" Jaws, " May the force be with you" Star wars, "Yeah Baby Yeah", Austin Powers, "Yippe-kay-yay Mother F------", Die hard, "What the problem is?" National Security
I have to admit though, my very favorite is "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" Dirty Dancing... (I say this to my daughter when she is sad- it makes her laugh everytime!)
Over...
xo kk over... (hee hee i love that)
Monday, May 7, 2007
taking off the rose colored glasses
Remember that old song that always touches your heart no matter when you hear it...
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the bad times that had me down
Its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day
Look all around theres nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead theres nothing but blue skies
I think we all can relate to this song that is so old I dont even remember when it was popular but I think it was around the time I was too young appreciate it's meaning. Coming out of a relationship that you sunk your heart and soul into, with hopes and dreams matched and rematched by the other person, reaching out on a limb, and falling falling falling face first into their drama, their pyschosis, their crap... smack face first... rose color glasses shattered.
You go through the motions fighting each day from calling them, fighting the urge to email them, wondering every moment what they are doing and then angry at yourself for wondering. You know you have to be strong but every single song on the radio is about stupid people in love or people heartbroken and alone and sad. Every movie out there is about people in love or people breaking up. You drive on the street and all of a sudden you see a million white Ford Explorers. And you alternate between hating the man who so callously broke your heart and hating yourself for letting him.
You cry and you sleep and you have insominia and anger and yes hate... You look at yourself and wonder was it all worth it and the answer always is yes. You learn something when you are humbled. When someone beats you down, the only place to go is back up with a head held high.
So after a few months I can hear this song and feel a little better about it all, the wound is starting to heal and he doesnt get my thoughts and fantasies anymore. That is afterall what he wanted all along, a little help with his ego, flaccid sailor that he is. I am sure that he has moved on to the next poor unsuspecting girl.
Heres to friends who have laughed with me and cried with me and sent all the bad energy his way on my behalf... I couldnt have gotten through this without you. I am the luckiest girl to have you all on my side.... much love to you all!
As for me, its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day.
PS if I wasnt a girl who totally believed in Karma I would print out all of those naughty little emails he sent to me and ship them off to his wife and/ or boss but luckily for him I believe that there is a higher power that will ultimately remove those rose colored glasses for him. Too bad he wont be able to see without them....
Those of you that have gone through or are going through the same thing, be strong and soon you will feel better. Rely on your friends, your workouts- lots of workouts!
xo kk
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the bad times that had me down
Its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day
Look all around theres nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead theres nothing but blue skies
I think we all can relate to this song that is so old I dont even remember when it was popular but I think it was around the time I was too young appreciate it's meaning. Coming out of a relationship that you sunk your heart and soul into, with hopes and dreams matched and rematched by the other person, reaching out on a limb, and falling falling falling face first into their drama, their pyschosis, their crap... smack face first... rose color glasses shattered.
You go through the motions fighting each day from calling them, fighting the urge to email them, wondering every moment what they are doing and then angry at yourself for wondering. You know you have to be strong but every single song on the radio is about stupid people in love or people heartbroken and alone and sad. Every movie out there is about people in love or people breaking up. You drive on the street and all of a sudden you see a million white Ford Explorers. And you alternate between hating the man who so callously broke your heart and hating yourself for letting him.
You cry and you sleep and you have insominia and anger and yes hate... You look at yourself and wonder was it all worth it and the answer always is yes. You learn something when you are humbled. When someone beats you down, the only place to go is back up with a head held high.
So after a few months I can hear this song and feel a little better about it all, the wound is starting to heal and he doesnt get my thoughts and fantasies anymore. That is afterall what he wanted all along, a little help with his ego, flaccid sailor that he is. I am sure that he has moved on to the next poor unsuspecting girl.
Heres to friends who have laughed with me and cried with me and sent all the bad energy his way on my behalf... I couldnt have gotten through this without you. I am the luckiest girl to have you all on my side.... much love to you all!
As for me, its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day.
PS if I wasnt a girl who totally believed in Karma I would print out all of those naughty little emails he sent to me and ship them off to his wife and/ or boss but luckily for him I believe that there is a higher power that will ultimately remove those rose colored glasses for him. Too bad he wont be able to see without them....
Those of you that have gone through or are going through the same thing, be strong and soon you will feel better. Rely on your friends, your workouts- lots of workouts!
xo kk
Sunday, May 6, 2007
everything is smoother in brazil
I recently planned a vacation, where I would be on a sailboat, in a bikini, in front of a man....
i had no other choice but to get
********My First Brazilian Wax*********
FOUR OF THE SCARIEST WORDS EVER!
You ask why on earth kimmy, would you even consider, let alone actually allow someone to repeatedly rip delicate hair out of your nether-SLASH-regions- over and over and over again?
Read the first sentence again... keywords: vacation, sailboat, bikini, man....
Ok, that is reason enough, this also reinforced by a wicked little story my friend Laura told me: she knew I was embarking on this adventure/vacation with this man (someone I now refer to as "flacid sailor" more on that later) and she told me the story of the time she went to Hawaii with her two friends Todd and Steve (partners traveling for a commitment ceremony- she was their best woman) I digress- she went out to this beautiful beach, white sand, clear blue water, you can see it--she in a large straw hat, donning a bathing suit and coverup. The coverup came off and both the boy's jaws dropped- both said in unison "you forgot to shave the sideburns" She never recovered from the shame--
As for myself, horrified and a little grossed out from hearing that story, I quickly headed to the local spa for my dose of self prescribed pain and agony.
I will be honest, the pain was extremely excruciating and oh yeah there was blood and swelling. The esthetician (this is her label- and this must rank right up there with gynecologist and proctologist and tell me again --why on earth would anyone want to do any of these jobs on purpose) she was quick and thorough and with each distribution of pretty darn hot wax and each rip she winced and breathed along with me as if she was feeling the pain with me. I felt like I was there on that table for a good three hours but looked at the clock when she was satisified with my new clean work surface and it had only been 20 minutes! She gave me some numbing stuff and it was all over, and the beaming proud look on my face that I survived my first brazilian wax must have touched her soft cookie center because she did my brows for free!
I was bare as a baby and you know what, once it's all gone it's really a weird thing. You totally feel like you are made for sex. The emphasis on the area is magnetic and amazing. You feel electric and sexy and alive. It's profound. I was ready for my trip- ready for unbridled passion, no inhibitions, totally confident in this new bare body image, ready for lots and lots of frosting (more on that in future scratchings)....
Unfortunately, it was totally wasted because I found out just a few hours into the vacation that my sailor was really a rat in disquise, a big huge rat, a big huge, lying, cheating, married rat that never got to go to Brazil afterall. I have since renamed him appropriately "flacid sailor" and told him that it really was his loss and
this will be one of the biggest regrets of his life because no matter what time of the year,
Brazil is a little slice of heaven.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
the sculptor gets sculpted
I am sore.
I have been working my yoga butt off trying to learn a new way to teach yoga. Sore calves, tight hamstrings, screaming inner (yikes) thighs, deltoids -serious pain here, biceps and triceps growing to strong girl proportions!
This crazy newfangled way of yoga is for the hard driving, type a's out there that itch to feel the burn and yearn to see men squirm...
I'm referring to a new business of yoga called "Yoga Sculpt". It is a hard cardio workout with faced paced bass thumping music lots of sweat and free weights. Yes Yoga with weights! It soooo much fun you hardly forget you are burning thousands of calories while you are singing and moving to the beat.
So everyday I have been working and learning and sweating and trying to get with this damn downbeat, counting and timing and cueing until my head spins off .... trying to get ready for my big debut as a yoga sculpt instructor on June 1st.
In addition to my regular vinyasa classes I have been teaching (2-3 a day) I have to throw a cardio workout in there (a run at the health club with a brief stint on the stair climber) then I have to train for this class. Plus a turn at the hospital now and again for the paycheck...
I know I know when does sleep play into this picture or mothering or fun or even time for romance..... There isnt much time but surprisingly once you get enough activity under your belt for the day you find you are not as tired and you need less and less sleep. The other stuff will always be there although we could always do with a little more romance right?
The body is such an amazing thing - adapting to diet and exercise, hundreds of crunches, weights and triceps that scream and scream then the next day you look in the mirror and see a slight bulge of muscle where there once was none, a tight little spot where there used to be a little droopiness and it makes it all worthwhile! Now I can wear that little strappy top with pride and no worries about a little flabby arms!
So the sculpted are getting sculpted and feeling the pain the ultimate pain of muscles awakening and growing. I jumping out of my comfort zone of quiet peaceful yoga instruction into the crazy cardio world and while scared and worried about my first class, I am so excited for the opportunity. You have to grab those opportunites and snatch them up any chance you get. Live life like there is no tomorrow and enjoy what you have and what is given to you. Never taking anything for granted.
So the next time you are faced with an opportunity and it scares you go for it anyway! Try it and live a life without regret. As for me its time to step out of my box and get sculpted.
Be well, kimmykat om
I have been working my yoga butt off trying to learn a new way to teach yoga. Sore calves, tight hamstrings, screaming inner (yikes) thighs, deltoids -serious pain here, biceps and triceps growing to strong girl proportions!
This crazy newfangled way of yoga is for the hard driving, type a's out there that itch to feel the burn and yearn to see men squirm...
I'm referring to a new business of yoga called "Yoga Sculpt". It is a hard cardio workout with faced paced bass thumping music lots of sweat and free weights. Yes Yoga with weights! It soooo much fun you hardly forget you are burning thousands of calories while you are singing and moving to the beat.
So everyday I have been working and learning and sweating and trying to get with this damn downbeat, counting and timing and cueing until my head spins off .... trying to get ready for my big debut as a yoga sculpt instructor on June 1st.
In addition to my regular vinyasa classes I have been teaching (2-3 a day) I have to throw a cardio workout in there (a run at the health club with a brief stint on the stair climber) then I have to train for this class. Plus a turn at the hospital now and again for the paycheck...
I know I know when does sleep play into this picture or mothering or fun or even time for romance..... There isnt much time but surprisingly once you get enough activity under your belt for the day you find you are not as tired and you need less and less sleep. The other stuff will always be there although we could always do with a little more romance right?
The body is such an amazing thing - adapting to diet and exercise, hundreds of crunches, weights and triceps that scream and scream then the next day you look in the mirror and see a slight bulge of muscle where there once was none, a tight little spot where there used to be a little droopiness and it makes it all worthwhile! Now I can wear that little strappy top with pride and no worries about a little flabby arms!
So the sculpted are getting sculpted and feeling the pain the ultimate pain of muscles awakening and growing. I jumping out of my comfort zone of quiet peaceful yoga instruction into the crazy cardio world and while scared and worried about my first class, I am so excited for the opportunity. You have to grab those opportunites and snatch them up any chance you get. Live life like there is no tomorrow and enjoy what you have and what is given to you. Never taking anything for granted.
So the next time you are faced with an opportunity and it scares you go for it anyway! Try it and live a life without regret. As for me its time to step out of my box and get sculpted.
Be well, kimmykat om
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
It pays the bills
Those of you that don't know the real me yet, there I am in a fit of fur and frenzy usually driving like a crazy woman from one Yoga class to another, then ultimately to my other fulltime job: working in a hospital emergency room. Yes I know, yoga while it fills my soul to guide others to enlightenment, it does not fill my pocketbook and writing while it is a passionate passion of mine, nothing worthwhile published yet sooooooo this means I have to work work work for a living.
Working in an emergency room----I know you think WOW what a cool and exciting job! Believe me it is no Grey's Anatomy and no ER... sadly, this is not television and there are no knock down gorgeous Dr. McDreamys in my ER and the nurses are a little odd and malformed and very crabby(more on that later...) and many of the patients are scary and strange ...
What can I say, it pays the bills and every now and then I can afford a new purse or shoes... I have seen my share of really weird things and nothing shocks or surprises me anymore. So if you have a bit of a curiosity for what really goes on in the ER (my ER which will remain nameless) I will divulge every little secret I can, wicked Kitty that I am. On to the next patient... meow
Working in an emergency room----I know you think WOW what a cool and exciting job! Believe me it is no Grey's Anatomy and no ER... sadly, this is not television and there are no knock down gorgeous Dr. McDreamys in my ER and the nurses are a little odd and malformed and very crabby(more on that later...) and many of the patients are scary and strange ...
What can I say, it pays the bills and every now and then I can afford a new purse or shoes... I have seen my share of really weird things and nothing shocks or surprises me anymore. So if you have a bit of a curiosity for what really goes on in the ER (my ER which will remain nameless) I will divulge every little secret I can, wicked Kitty that I am. On to the next patient... meow
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