taking off the rose colored glasses

Remember that old song that always touches your heart no matter when you hear it...

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the bad times that had me down
Its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day
Look all around theres nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead theres nothing but blue skies

I think we all can relate to this song that is so old I dont even remember when it was popular but I think it was around the time I was too young appreciate it's meaning. Coming out of a relationship that you sunk your heart and soul into, with hopes and dreams matched and rematched by the other person, reaching out on a limb, and falling falling falling face first into their drama, their pyschosis, their crap... smack face first... rose color glasses shattered.

You go through the motions fighting each day from calling them, fighting the urge to email them, wondering every moment what they are doing and then angry at yourself for wondering. You know you have to be strong but every single song on the radio is about stupid people in love or people heartbroken and alone and sad. Every movie out there is about people in love or people breaking up. You drive on the street and all of a sudden you see a million white Ford Explorers. And you alternate between hating the man who so callously broke your heart and hating yourself for letting him.

You cry and you sleep and you have insominia and anger and yes hate... You look at yourself and wonder was it all worth it and the answer always is yes. You learn something when you are humbled. When someone beats you down, the only place to go is back up with a head held high.

So after a few months I can hear this song and feel a little better about it all, the wound is starting to heal and he doesnt get my thoughts and fantasies anymore. That is afterall what he wanted all along, a little help with his ego, flaccid sailor that he is. I am sure that he has moved on to the next poor unsuspecting girl.

Heres to friends who have laughed with me and cried with me and sent all the bad energy his way on my behalf... I couldnt have gotten through this without you. I am the luckiest girl to have you all on my side.... much love to you all!

As for me, its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day.

PS if I wasnt a girl who totally believed in Karma I would print out all of those naughty little emails he sent to me and ship them off to his wife and/ or boss but luckily for him I believe that there is a higher power that will ultimately remove those rose colored glasses for him. Too bad he wont be able to see without them....

Those of you that have gone through or are going through the same thing, be strong and soon you will feel better. Rely on your friends, your workouts- lots of workouts!

xo kk