the sound of silence

What is a Yoga Instructor's worst nightmare?

You may think a disruptive student, one that huffs and puffs and moans and groans and keeps everyone else in the class from finding their centeredness.

Or maybe someone who laughs loudly and proudly when an innocent puff of methane is emitted rather loudly into the room (yes this does happen and happen often- my partner in crime and fellow blogini -the delicious and delectable domestic minx can attest to this).

Maybe it is simply that your music of crickets and unicorns stops mid practice.

Yes all of these things can destroy an Instructor's dreams of a smooth flawless class but the absolute worst of the worst : Laryngitis!

Yes, I am unable to speak. It started three days ago with a little scratchy throat and the worries of Uh,oh here we go... a cold is coming on. So off to the drugstore to buy loads of cough lozenges, tea, lemons, honey, tissues, diet 7up, chicken noodle soup, and yes saltine crackers... I was ready.. loaded for bear - a beary bad cold (sorry I couldnt resist- it must be the drugs). But the cold never reared it's head in the form of a head cold.

Instead my scratchy throat turned into the sexiest sex voice I have ever owned. I sounded like Demi Moore after a hard night of drinking and chain smoking. Everyone in my presence looked at me in a way that suggested sex as I spoke. My Yoga classes were fluid and soft like butter and I discovered a yoga cd with all french music that went along with my newfound cfm voice. After class, my male students would hang around and flirt and I knew deep down it was the voice but I didnt care, the attention was amazing -and it really did feed my ego....A few of my fellow female instructors actually asked me to rerecord their outgoing voice mail messages with my alluring words... I was hoping he voice was my new found voice my alter ego in my search for true enlightenment.

The next day: nothing.. no voice- just a harsh whisper that sounded like it came from the mouth of Gollum that nasty hellish creature from Lord of the rings--- Imagine my bright shining face all dressed up in my cutest Yoga outfit from Lulemon and I open my mouth all all that comes out is "My Precioussssssssssss".

Thank god for internet and my ability to write... the sound of my silence is deafening!