Deja Vu and other scary shit

Ever since I was young I have always had a strange sense of deja vu. The feeling of being someplace before, experiencing something before or knowing what was going to happen before it actually does. A connection with the great beyond if you will. It seems witchy and scary sometimes but I believe that some people have a more heightened awareness of intuition than others. I have always been one of them. Maybe it is that Cancerian moon goddess trait where we seem so in tune with the moon and the ocean, the tide and the weather. Whatever it is sometimes it scares the shit out of me.


Now I am not as strange as the kid from The Shining... he actually believed he could listen to and talk to some little boy named Tony that lived in his mouth. This mouth dweller told him things like "stay away from the hacked up kids that used to live at the Overlook Hotel" or "Your Dad is going crazy with that Ax and your Mom will end up aimlessly wandering around the scarier sections of the Hotel acting useless while you are running for your life in the frozen maze" or "watchout for that river of blood". Now really this was possibly useful information to Danny, but how many of us really listen to the strange inhabitants of our mouths? Danny listened but never really did much about it all, in fact, he could have really warned that poor old cook Dick Halloran that he was going to end up with the business end of that ax in his chest.

Oprah calls it listening to your inner voice. She from time to time has this show on dedicated to scaring the living crap out of you... usually about someone horrible ready to attack you or abduct you in broad daylight. She will usually have a few emotionally scarred people on the show telling the gory details of how someone tried to take them from their normal surroundings and have their way with them, hurt them or kill them. The stories are over the top and always have the life lesson "Listen to your inner voice".

I think animals have alot of intiution too. I sometimes come home after a long hard day,the kind of day that just sucks the life out of you or perhaps you have have a run in with someone especially evil... I come home and just seeing Isabelle sitting there by the door waiting for me or Gucci nosing me and then snuggling me when on most days these cats are aloof and on living in their solitary cat world. On those more emotionally charged days, my cats seem to sense that and are there for me to cuddle and kiss. Cats are intuitive creatures and know alot more than we think. I am not sure of the whole dog thing and perhaps if you have a dog and feel the same way you can respond with a post.

I remember once in high school there was this girl that was a typical Mean Girl. She was a cheerleader and dated only the top football guys and she had all the nicest clothes and she acted like she owned the entire school --- she was mean to those who were not as pretty or popular and she had alot of bad karma coming to her. She was walking down the stairs in front of me and for a brief moment I thought it would be karmic justice and kind of funny if she tumbled down those stairs and her skirt went over her head and everyone saw her bits and pieces. Well, in a split second that happened exactly as I described. I thought I made it happen and then felt a bit like Carrie burning down the school gym after the bucket of blood was dropped on her and her prom date.. the whole telekinesis thing... I have never forgotten that weird feeling of thinking I made that happen.

Maybe we have more power than we think in our thoughts and our minds. I have been very careful in my thoughts of a certain sailor however he should remain very afraid.....afterall we have no control over what we dream! Recently I remember dreaming about a boat sinking......

blame throwers and other dangerous weapons

Non Blame Takers....Ever since I could remember I have been either dating or involved with a non blame taker. Who is that exactly? Well, it is someone that does not have enough seeds to take the blame when they should. When they are the cause of a problem or a situation and even after making a big deal out of it they try to blame someone else. To me the biggest turn off that a guy can have is being unable to admit when he is wrong. It is a big deal with me. I think it shows real masculinity when a guy has enough balls to admit when he has made a mistake. It shows a humbleness that I find sexy and appealing. I would rather be with a guy that makes alot of mistakes and is never afraid to admit to them than a guy who just makes a few but pushes the blame on to you.



Cheaters... I dont even need to go further with this. There is a whole group of men and women out there walking around this earth with the idea that it is not only ok to cheat on your spouse but it is also ok to lie about whether or not you are married at all to the person you intend to cheat with. I have come into contact with two men like this. Now dont get me wrong I bet there are plenty of women out there that cheat and lie but I have no experience with this so I only speak of what I know. The two men, strike that, married cheaters came into my life telling me they were divorced, no relationship. After months of lies, the truth is revealed... cheater number one: in a 7 year relationship about to be married! Cheater number two married and still living with his wife! WTF! I dont know how these men can live with themselves. I mean really do they have not one shred of conscience or a heart that feels or hurts? Instead they go around the face of this earth hurting innocent women with their selfish behavior. So far both cheaters have had strange similarities:

1. Both are Police Officers

2. Both are Capricorns (January 2 and January 7 birthdates although years apart)

3. Both are shameless narcissists.

4. Both were overweight, doughy men with an unfortunate lack of male enhancement. (though both were very particular about the slim trim body type of the women in their lives- double standard)

5. Both live in California.

I dont know how these men found me and the similarities are frightening. I suggest if you meet a non confident egotistical middleaged cop on the west coast that cares only about material gains and climbing his way to the top, completely focused on big boobs and tiny tummies... run in the other direction and hide.

.. Especially if their names are Chris and Ron! They both are non blame takers and cheaters, liars and horrible men. I hope that just getting this out there sets the cosmic karma into motion.

Getting them off my chest and out of my life helps. I feel better - thank you for listening... OM be well

kk

ode to a broken laptop

as of late
i have been absent
from the world of blogs and post
you may ask why dear kimmy kat
when the scratchings were interesting, well most
i have been absent
without the means
to scratch and purr and roar
my oldest friend, my companion, my laptop
decided to work no more.
A squad of geeks informed me
twas the motherboard they chimed
we recommend you let go of your friend
and find a new one thats primed
the selection was great
salesmen aggressive until I found one that fit
my personality and function and detail
details only appreciated by a delicious exotic minx
it is pink and expensive and oooooh so girly but worth every bit
so i am back dear friends with paws outstretched
in hopes you will forgive my unavailability
and know each moment I thought of my friends
with kind yoga thoughts and humility.

my guilty pleasure

Everyone has them- guilty pleasures. Something that makes you feel so good and bad at the same time.
I have quite a few of them:
1. Tanning -save the lecture... i am spanish and portugese and french-- my decendants are dark and fabulous...
2. Dark Chocolate, Milk chocolate, White chocolate, any chocolate bury me in chocolate....
3. Patty cake- this is like better than sex cake- you know that recipe that is floating around that always makes women drool just thinking about it-again the whole chocolate thing...
4. Massage- ok this is selfish but I workout every single day and teach at least 3-4 yoga classes a day so I am sore- this is just maintenance...
5. Sex- I dont think I need to explain further (this list is not in priority order obviously)
6. Red Wine- Merlot, Shiraz.... ahhh
7. Hot Hot Bubble Bath- no one in the house, staying in the tub till I am pruny.
8. Old music to bring back memories... you can only identify these as they pop up... for example watching The Departed on DVD and hearing "Comfortably Numb" -ok it was a re-make but it cause me to pause the movie and dig out my Pink Floyd The Wall cd and listening to it the last couple of days has made me smile and made me think about my old boyfriend and yeah it made me smile all day long.... A suggestion: rent Roll Bounce- it has all the great disco music you heard in roller rinks when you were a teenager- its a blast!
9. Workout- yeah that goes without saying- if you have gotten to know me its all about the endorphins.... gotta get my fix every day.
10. Workout- I know I already said that- okay I admit it I watch the show- on Bravo its the best reality show ever and its about working out. I wonder if skylab is hiring... hmmm
11.Flirting- I could devote an entire blog to this subject- maybe someday I will. I dont know where I heard it but someone once said "Flirting is the most fun a girl can have with her clothes on" ...agree.
12. A really good steak- I know I am a dedicated yogi but I also am a cardio girl who lifts weights- I need my protein!
13. clean crisp sheets- preferably after #7, #6, and #5 (in that order)

Well thats my list so far... This is an endless list to keep adding to...
so if you have a list to share, please do! I would love to hear what guilty pleasures we might share or maybe I can steal a few from your list....

be well... namaste... om
kk

My hands look small

Those of you that have been stricken with a bad cold, flu or scurvy (jk-it sounds so gross- what is that anyway? I remember it has something to do with oranges having too many or not enough) know that in order to bring yourself out of the depths of hell and back into the land of the of the productive, living, healthy population, you must first subject yourself to rest and that means being housebound.

From recent personal experience, I have to tell you that being stuck inside when the world is spinning without you there are stages that you go through:

First day- wow I have the house to myself, I felt a little run down but mostly (they come out at night mostly hee hee) it was my voice raspy and kind of sexy I sounded worse than I felt. I can watch The View, Dr Phil and Oprah without guilt from not multitasking (folding laundry, vaccuuming) while watching this daytime dribble. I sat back and enjoyed the entire day. I lived on hot tea and took a long hot bath, did my nails, pampered myself and pretty much let the house go to hell. My cats, Isabelle and Gucci were loving it having a companion with them as they are usually pretty lonely and I am not sure what they do during the day other than sleep. I thought to myself ok, I gave up a day I should be better tomorrow so I can get caught up on my duties then.

Second day- I felt worse than the first day. My throat was on fire and this strange sexy voice turned into a creepy monster hiss (see previous blog) Sick of the hot tea and very worried that my teeth would start to take on the color of my brown leather purse. Took more Tylenol and went back to bed, making my bedroom like a cave all the shades drawn, covers over my head, hiding from the world as it keeps spinning without me. Woke up sore after no work out for two days(this is getting serious folks- I usually workout every single day- my back feels like it belongs to an 80 year old) so I peel myself out of bed and head straight for the couch turn on the tv and back to Dr Phil however he is starting to look a little like Satan and then Oprah ---I dont even want to go there but she was really scary today. I force myself to get dressed and go to the club run for about 15 minutes on the treadmill and am ready to pass out (this is pathetic- I usually run 6 miles a day minimum) the only saving grace is ghe jacuzzi... ahhh ridiculously hot water bubbling all around me. I have decided to spend the rest of my life there.

Third day- no sleep all night I propped myself up with about 10 pillows so technically I am trying to sleep sitting up. More tv today- I have discovered the WE channel this is Womens Entertainment and O- the Oxygen channel- both run constant non stop watch until you want to poke your own eyes out Danielle Steele movies, one after another after another.... I watched for a few hours until I actually felt my Va-jay-jay begin to take over my entire body. I got so freaked out I went downstairs and found all the kick ass man movies I could get my hands on die hard, alien, godfather... ok I need to get out of this house. I go outside and sit out in the sun, my throat is burning so I have some cold iced tea this time. I fall asleep out in the sun and wake up an hour later sweaty and realizing I just got a quick dose of sun burn... Its a weird feeling to be cut off from others when you are sick. I force myself to go do a yoga practice in my yoga room. It feels good and I begin to feel a little more human.

Fourth day- I am good enough to try to teach a class considering two days previously I have absolutely no voice at all. The class went well, but I have lost my voice again. I head to the local urgent care and wait for about 3 hours for someone to tell me something I already know- I was really sick. I had strep. So you know what that means--- good drugs to soothe and relieve. My kindly doctor prescribed darvocet. Never dallied with that kind before but I have taken vicodin and this seemed pretty similar and I have to tell you it helped me to feel a little more human so I could actaully venture out to shop a little without fear of small children running from the scary sick monster woman. And shopping I did- then I treated myself to a walk around the lake and a smoothie. I even when for a long run later and ran 4 miles without fear of passing out- I am on the mend!

So I am back from the depths of hell (my own home) and back into the land of the living and am glad it kept spinning without me. One thing I learned is that whenever I am sick my hands look small- this is before the drugs...

To health and honoring that everyday- being grateful and happy that I dont have to watch WE everyday! My hands have returned to their normal size (stop laughing please) , my house still looks like hell and I dont care (ie. details)...and I no longer sound like Gollum--my precious......

cheers to your health and thank you domestic minx for thinking of me when your mouth hurts so much- my sister across the pond...much xxxx and happy thoughts-- kk

the sound of silence

What is a Yoga Instructor's worst nightmare?

You may think a disruptive student, one that huffs and puffs and moans and groans and keeps everyone else in the class from finding their centeredness.

Or maybe someone who laughs loudly and proudly when an innocent puff of methane is emitted rather loudly into the room (yes this does happen and happen often- my partner in crime and fellow blogini -the delicious and delectable domestic minx can attest to this).

Maybe it is simply that your music of crickets and unicorns stops mid practice.

Yes all of these things can destroy an Instructor's dreams of a smooth flawless class but the absolute worst of the worst : Laryngitis!

Yes, I am unable to speak. It started three days ago with a little scratchy throat and the worries of Uh,oh here we go... a cold is coming on. So off to the drugstore to buy loads of cough lozenges, tea, lemons, honey, tissues, diet 7up, chicken noodle soup, and yes saltine crackers... I was ready.. loaded for bear - a beary bad cold (sorry I couldnt resist- it must be the drugs). But the cold never reared it's head in the form of a head cold.

Instead my scratchy throat turned into the sexiest sex voice I have ever owned. I sounded like Demi Moore after a hard night of drinking and chain smoking. Everyone in my presence looked at me in a way that suggested sex as I spoke. My Yoga classes were fluid and soft like butter and I discovered a yoga cd with all french music that went along with my newfound cfm voice. After class, my male students would hang around and flirt and I knew deep down it was the voice but I didnt care, the attention was amazing -and it really did feed my ego....A few of my fellow female instructors actually asked me to rerecord their outgoing voice mail messages with my alluring words... I was hoping he voice was my new found voice my alter ego in my search for true enlightenment.

The next day: nothing.. no voice- just a harsh whisper that sounded like it came from the mouth of Gollum that nasty hellish creature from Lord of the rings--- Imagine my bright shining face all dressed up in my cutest Yoga outfit from Lulemon and I open my mouth all all that comes out is "My Precioussssssssssss".

Thank god for internet and my ability to write... the sound of my silence is deafening!

Mostly they come out at night, mostly....

Catchphrases-- inside jokes...

"Mostly they come out at night, mostly...." The infamous words from our damaged and beloved Newt, emotionally scarred orphan found wandering around trying to dodge double jawed aliens. Even Sigourney couldnt save her in the end, we discovered in the third movie that she was destroyed in her pod in deep space because true to her words: "Mostly they come out at night... mostly." This is a sentence that is said over and over in our house and we always giggle and smile- our own private joke... Then there is also "In case you didnt notice we just got our asses kicked, game over man" and "How can they turn off the power, their just animals" (that Bill Paxton has the best lines).

My daughter and I have a strange movie relationship. We see a movie together and find a catch phrase or word that strikes us, tickles our fancies, or just plain knocks our socks off. This makes for some really hilarious text messages or inside jokes.

One that we used and over used for days on end was from the Shining. Yeah I know you are thinking: "Here's Johnny" made famous by Jack Nicholson chopping his way into the bathroom with an enormous shiny axe. No that would be too easy- there is a scene, a rather pathetic one, in which Shelly Duvall is wearing this gastly indian/rodeo looking jacket and it is in baby puke tan..and she tops it off with a little scarf -what the f?(who is her stylist?) she is wandering (all these people do is wander) around this massive hotel and has no idea where scary as hell Danny is, she finds the communication room and radios to the local ranger. This poor unsuspecting ranger in training answers and she, starved for attention because her crazy husband has gone even crazier, babbles on and on and each time they finish a sentence they say "over". It becomes comical. It seriously goes on and on and "over". So for about two weeks after seeing this movie we would constantly say"over" and it was a source of great laughter for us and annoyance for anyone else in the general vicinity.

Some of you probably can relate to the old Terminator movie that has the catchphrase of all catchphrases- "I'll be back" , there are some that have added to that phrase by saying "Next time I wont be so nice" Or in Tommy Boy "Holy Schnikes", or when he calls Richard "Sinner", or "Thats gonna leave a mark". There are alot of them in any Chris Farley Movie.

Guys have their favorites too: "Say Hello to my little Friend" Scarface, "Were gonna need a bigger boat" Jaws, " May the force be with you" Star wars, "Yeah Baby Yeah", Austin Powers, "Yippe-kay-yay Mother F------", Die hard, "What the problem is?" National Security

I have to admit though, my very favorite is "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" Dirty Dancing... (I say this to my daughter when she is sad- it makes her laugh everytime!)

Over...

xo kk over... (hee hee i love that)

taking off the rose colored glasses

Remember that old song that always touches your heart no matter when you hear it...

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the bad times that had me down
Its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day
Look all around theres nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead theres nothing but blue skies

I think we all can relate to this song that is so old I dont even remember when it was popular but I think it was around the time I was too young appreciate it's meaning. Coming out of a relationship that you sunk your heart and soul into, with hopes and dreams matched and rematched by the other person, reaching out on a limb, and falling falling falling face first into their drama, their pyschosis, their crap... smack face first... rose color glasses shattered.

You go through the motions fighting each day from calling them, fighting the urge to email them, wondering every moment what they are doing and then angry at yourself for wondering. You know you have to be strong but every single song on the radio is about stupid people in love or people heartbroken and alone and sad. Every movie out there is about people in love or people breaking up. You drive on the street and all of a sudden you see a million white Ford Explorers. And you alternate between hating the man who so callously broke your heart and hating yourself for letting him.

You cry and you sleep and you have insominia and anger and yes hate... You look at yourself and wonder was it all worth it and the answer always is yes. You learn something when you are humbled. When someone beats you down, the only place to go is back up with a head held high.

So after a few months I can hear this song and feel a little better about it all, the wound is starting to heal and he doesnt get my thoughts and fantasies anymore. That is afterall what he wanted all along, a little help with his ego, flaccid sailor that he is. I am sure that he has moved on to the next poor unsuspecting girl.

Heres to friends who have laughed with me and cried with me and sent all the bad energy his way on my behalf... I couldnt have gotten through this without you. I am the luckiest girl to have you all on my side.... much love to you all!

As for me, its gonna be a bright bright bright sunshiny day.

PS if I wasnt a girl who totally believed in Karma I would print out all of those naughty little emails he sent to me and ship them off to his wife and/ or boss but luckily for him I believe that there is a higher power that will ultimately remove those rose colored glasses for him. Too bad he wont be able to see without them....

Those of you that have gone through or are going through the same thing, be strong and soon you will feel better. Rely on your friends, your workouts- lots of workouts!

xo kk

everything is smoother in brazil

I recently planned a vacation, where I would be on a sailboat, in a bikini, in front of a man....

i had no other choice but to get

********My First Brazilian Wax*********

FOUR OF THE SCARIEST WORDS EVER!

You ask why on earth kimmy, would you even consider, let alone actually allow someone to repeatedly rip delicate hair out of your nether-SLASH-regions- over and over and over again?

Read the first sentence again... keywords: vacation, sailboat, bikini, man....

Ok, that is reason enough, this also reinforced by a wicked little story my friend Laura told me: she knew I was embarking on this adventure/vacation with this man (someone I now refer to as "flacid sailor" more on that later) and she told me the story of the time she went to Hawaii with her two friends Todd and Steve (partners traveling for a commitment ceremony- she was their best woman) I digress- she went out to this beautiful beach, white sand, clear blue water, you can see it--she in a large straw hat, donning a bathing suit and coverup. The coverup came off and both the boy's jaws dropped- both said in unison "you forgot to shave the sideburns" She never recovered from the shame--

As for myself, horrified and a little grossed out from hearing that story, I quickly headed to the local spa for my dose of self prescribed pain and agony.

I will be honest, the pain was extremely excruciating and oh yeah there was blood and swelling. The esthetician (this is her label- and this must rank right up there with gynecologist and proctologist and tell me again --why on earth would anyone want to do any of these jobs on purpose) she was quick and thorough and with each distribution of pretty darn hot wax and each rip she winced and breathed along with me as if she was feeling the pain with me. I felt like I was there on that table for a good three hours but looked at the clock when she was satisified with my new clean work surface and it had only been 20 minutes! She gave me some numbing stuff and it was all over, and the beaming proud look on my face that I survived my first brazilian wax must have touched her soft cookie center because she did my brows for free!

I was bare as a baby and you know what, once it's all gone it's really a weird thing. You totally feel like you are made for sex. The emphasis on the area is magnetic and amazing. You feel electric and sexy and alive. It's profound. I was ready for my trip- ready for unbridled passion, no inhibitions, totally confident in this new bare body image, ready for lots and lots of frosting (more on that in future scratchings)....

Unfortunately, it was totally wasted because I found out just a few hours into the vacation that my sailor was really a rat in disquise, a big huge rat, a big huge, lying, cheating, married rat that never got to go to Brazil afterall. I have since renamed him appropriately "flacid sailor" and told him that it really was his loss and

this will be one of the biggest regrets of his life because no matter what time of the year,

Brazil is a little slice of heaven.

the sculptor gets sculpted

I am sore.

I have been working my yoga butt off trying to learn a new way to teach yoga. Sore calves, tight hamstrings, screaming inner (yikes) thighs, deltoids -serious pain here, biceps and triceps growing to strong girl proportions!

This crazy newfangled way of yoga is for the hard driving, type a's out there that itch to feel the burn and yearn to see men squirm...

I'm referring to a new business of yoga called "Yoga Sculpt". It is a hard cardio workout with faced paced bass thumping music lots of sweat and free weights. Yes Yoga with weights! It soooo much fun you hardly forget you are burning thousands of calories while you are singing and moving to the beat.

So everyday I have been working and learning and sweating and trying to get with this damn downbeat, counting and timing and cueing until my head spins off .... trying to get ready for my big debut as a yoga sculpt instructor on June 1st.

In addition to my regular vinyasa classes I have been teaching (2-3 a day) I have to throw a cardio workout in there (a run at the health club with a brief stint on the stair climber) then I have to train for this class. Plus a turn at the hospital now and again for the paycheck...

I know I know when does sleep play into this picture or mothering or fun or even time for romance..... There isnt much time but surprisingly once you get enough activity under your belt for the day you find you are not as tired and you need less and less sleep. The other stuff will always be there although we could always do with a little more romance right?

The body is such an amazing thing - adapting to diet and exercise, hundreds of crunches, weights and triceps that scream and scream then the next day you look in the mirror and see a slight bulge of muscle where there once was none, a tight little spot where there used to be a little droopiness and it makes it all worthwhile! Now I can wear that little strappy top with pride and no worries about a little flabby arms!

So the sculpted are getting sculpted and feeling the pain the ultimate pain of muscles awakening and growing. I jumping out of my comfort zone of quiet peaceful yoga instruction into the crazy cardio world and while scared and worried about my first class, I am so excited for the opportunity. You have to grab those opportunites and snatch them up any chance you get. Live life like there is no tomorrow and enjoy what you have and what is given to you. Never taking anything for granted.

So the next time you are faced with an opportunity and it scares you go for it anyway! Try it and live a life without regret. As for me its time to step out of my box and get sculpted.

Be well, kimmykat om

It pays the bills

Those of you that don't know the real me yet, there I am in a fit of fur and frenzy usually driving like a crazy woman from one Yoga class to another, then ultimately to my other fulltime job: working in a hospital emergency room. Yes I know, yoga while it fills my soul to guide others to enlightenment, it does not fill my pocketbook and writing while it is a passionate passion of mine, nothing worthwhile published yet sooooooo this means I have to work work work for a living.

Working in an emergency room----I know you think WOW what a cool and exciting job! Believe me it is no Grey's Anatomy and no ER... sadly, this is not television and there are no knock down gorgeous Dr. McDreamys in my ER and the nurses are a little odd and malformed and very crabby(more on that later...) and many of the patients are scary and strange ...

What can I say, it pays the bills and every now and then I can afford a new purse or shoes... I have seen my share of really weird things and nothing shocks or surprises me anymore. So if you have a bit of a curiosity for what really goes on in the ER (my ER which will remain nameless) I will divulge every little secret I can, wicked Kitty that I am. On to the next patient... meow